Nerdy Affiliate Adventures In Affiliate Marketing Land

Funny Marketing Joke…

Posted by JasperP on October 29th, 2008

This is probably old, but I thought it was pretty funny.  I haven’t heard too many marketing jokes, but this one was a good one.  I heard this on the Clickbooth Interview with PPC-Coach Will Haimeril at 

http://blog.clickbooth.com/2008/09/harald-andersons-exciting-new-webinar/

A buddy of mine transcribed the joke for you guys: 

This story involves a young man whose name is Matthew who goes into a confessional hopper to ask for forgiveness for his sins. 

He steps into the box, kneels down and whispers, “Father, forgive me for I have sinned. I’ve been with a loose woman from your parish and spent all last night indulging in sins of the flesh.”

The priest says, “Is that you Matthew?” 

He responds, “Yes Father, it is I.”

After a short pause, the priest says, “Go on my son, tell me more.”

“Well Father, you know we were dancing, drinking wine, and next thing I know, we spent 6 hours indulging pleasures of the flesh.”, says Matthew

“Well I see my son, tell me more. Who was the woman you were with?”, said the priest

“Sorry Father I cannot tell you that, for I cannot sully her reputation.”

“Was it Eileen O’Shaunessy?”, asks the priest. “No father it was not.”

“Was it Brenda Mahoney?”, asks the priest. “No father, it was not.”

“Was it Jill O’Flannery?” asks the priest. “No Father, it was not.”

The priest very patiently paused and breathed a heavy sigh. 

“Alright my son, I admire your integrity and you are a child of god, but you must atone for your sins. Say five Our Fathers, four hail marries and all is forgiven.”

Matthew thanked the priest and quietly returned to his pew to atone for his sins. As he pulled out his rosemary beads, his friend slid next to him and asked, “What’d you get?”

Matthew said, “Five Our Fathers, four hail marries and THREE REALLY GREAT LEADS.”

Now go make some money! lol

Related Posts

• Stretch for the Red Ball

Stretch for the Red Ball

Posted by JasperP on August 25th, 2008

This was a nice little article that sent to me via email which was written by Kim Kiyosaki, author of the “Rich Woman” books (richwoman.com).

Anyway, this article is basically about persistence and being able to stay determined in reaching for your goals.

You’ve heard the saying, “Everyone wants to go to heaven, but no one wants to die.”

I see that sentiment everywhere: in business, in investing and in people’s personal lives. Ask someone, “Do you want to be rich?” and they say, “Of course!” But ask them, “Are you willing to do what it takes?” and all too often, you’ll get a blank stare. To me, the difference between someone who achieves her goals and realizes her dreams and someone who does not is that one is willing to do what it takes to get there, and the other is not.

In an earlier article I wrote about the four types of people in the world: Those who must be right, those who must be comfortable, those who must win and those who must be liked. I’m a “must win” kind of girl. And in order to win, sometimes you have to do things that are uncomfortable, difficult and even scary. The most revealing test of a winner (or loser) is how she responds to adversity. What does she do under pressure? Does she back down? Does she quit? Does she roll up her sleeves and get to work? Bottom line: Does she keep moving forward? How you respond when things get difficult is the difference between being a rich woman or a poor woman.

If you set goals at the start of this year, how are you faring? Are you doing what you need to do to achieve them? Are you or is someone you trust holding you accountable to make your goals?

Sometimes You Need a Coach

That is the beauty of having a coach. I have coaches in many areas of my life: business, investing, presentations, fitness and personal development. I even have a television coach. My coaches hold me accountable when my natural tendency is to take it easy. My weakness (one of many) is that I’m essentially lazy. So I do my best to surround myself with coaches, mentors and friends who push me harder than I push myself at times.

For example, I was working out at the gym with my trainer, JR, when he said, “Kim, pick up the red ball for your next set of exercises.” I walked across the gym and leaned over to pick up the ball, expecting it to be pretty light. In fact, I realized, it was a lot heavier than the blue and yellow balls I was used to. I hesitantly walked back to JR, red ball in hand. “OK,” he said, “I want you to do 40 lunges with the ball over your head. Next, do 20 sit-ups on the incline holding the red ball. And last, 20 squats with the ball.” I gave him a questioning look and set off to do my lunges, sit-ups and squats. Afterward, I came back to JR huffing and puffing, but proud of my accomplishment and ready to move onto the next—and easier—exercise. Instead JR said, “Good job. Now give me two more sets.”

“Two more sets?” I protested. “This red ball is heavy!”

JR smiled and said, “Do you want me to take it easy on you? Are you paying me to hold your hand or are you paying me for results? It’s up to you.”

I quietly walked away with my red ball and began my next set of lunges.

That’s when I realized that to get results in anything, you’ve got to reach for the red ball. So often, we go for the lighter challenges or goals—the yellow or blue balls—because it’s easier and more comfortable. But in order to get the result that we want, we’ve got to do some heavy lifting and stretch for the red ball.

So the “Red Ball” question to ask yourself is this:

What is the one thing in my life, today, that if I did, I know would dramatically improve my life?

Once you know the answer to that question, ask yourself: Am I willing to do what it takes to do that one thing?

That may be your red ball and the one you reach for next.

Investor, entrepreneur and author of Rich Woman, Kim Kiyosaki educates women about money and investing through books, speaking engagements, a PBS TV show and  RichWoman.com. Kim and her husband Robert created the CASHFLOW® board games and own The Rich Dad Company.

This article originally appeared in WomenEntrepreneur.com. Reprinted with permission from the author.

Related Posts

• Funny Marketing Joke…
• Internet Marketing And The Business Mindset